


Be prepared

by silvermoongirl10



Series: Exists in a delicate balance [14]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Disaster Lineage (Star Wars), Dooku Lives (Star Wars), Dooku Turns back to the Light Side (Star Wars), Dooku regrets what he has done (Star Wars), Gen, Self-Reflection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-18 22:08:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28874349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silvermoongirl10/pseuds/silvermoongirl10
Summary: With the death of the Sith Lord, Dooku feels his mind clear of the Dark Side for the first time in many years. With sudden clarity he realises exactly what he has done to his lineage. How he helped to engineer their defeats and in some cases, almost killed them. It is the greatest dishonour to raise a hand against a lineage member, Dooku knows he must atone for his actions.(Set at the end of the Clone Wars.)(This is a sort of prequel/midquel toRemember who you are.)
Relationships: Dooku & Feemor (Star Wars), Dooku & Obi-Wan Kenobi, Dooku & Qui-Gon Jinn
Series: Exists in a delicate balance [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1978357
Comments: 2
Kudos: 78





	Be prepared

One moment Dooku was stood on the bridge of his ship, seething in his anger that the Republic forces were continuing to win battles. When suddenly all of the anger drained out of him, he swayed on his feet, needing to grab hold of the pilot's seat to steady himself. On shaky limbs he heaved himself into the chair and rested his head in his hands. He took deep, even breaths, fighting against the bile at the back of his throat. Once he felt himself steady, he looked inward with the Force and was surprised to note his link to Darth Sidious was gone. He looked further and realised his Master was _dead_.

It was with more shock that Dooku realised his tight grip of the Dark Side had faded, leaving him in the Grey. Neither totally Dark or totally Light. As he came to this realisation, he felt sudden horror at all he had done in the past three years. All the Jedi he had led to their deaths, some deaths at his hands. Bile threatened to rise up again when he recalled with sudden clarity Obi-Wan chained to a post in a middle of an arena on Geonosis, how he had just _stood_ there, content to watch as his Grandpadawan was about to be mauled to death.

His breathing turned into heavy gasps, as if he had just run a marathon. He started to panic as he looked at his lightsaber, and how his beloved crystal slowly bled red. How his anger and frustration at the Jedi Council and Jedi Order as a whole just built and built until Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan were almost killed on Naboo. He had waited anxiously for their return to the Temple, wanting to assure himself they were both alright. As a Councillor he had heard in terrifying detail how Qui-Gon had been stabbed by the Sith Apprentice, how Obi-Wan had almost killed himself defeating Maul and then Force Healing Qui-Gon. His Grandpadawan was to be Knighted under the most terrifying of circumstances and he just wanted to hug the boy, reassure himself that his Grandpadawan was alright. He had been on a mission when Qui-Gon had foolishly declared he would train the young boy he found, how he had to be reminded of his _own_ Padawan. Everything was a mess and Dooku just needed to _see_ his Padawan and Grandpadawan.

But then the anger that had slowly started driving his decisions broke out in a thunderous cloud. A voice hissing in his mind, _the Council don't listen to you. If they did Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan would not have been in any danger. It's all their fault_. The voice had summed up exactly how he was feeling. So, in a fit of rage he packed his bags and left the Jedi Order without looking back.

In hindsight, Dooku realised Sidious had been plaguing his mind for years, slowly Turning him to the Dark Side. He freely admitted that had he waited to see Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan after their return from Naboo, then he would not have left the Order and instead worked with the Council on the apparent return of the Sith. Something Sidious would not have wanted to happen. Dooku cursed himself, he had played right into Sidious's hands, without a shred of protest.

It was with that shame he came to a decision. He could not go back. He could not face his lineage knowing what he had done and tried to do to them. He had sent Separatists spies after Feemor, who continued with his undercover missions during the war, on one memorable occasion only just escaping with his life. He had sent Ventress after Yoda a handful of times, determined to put a stop to his own former Master. Qui-Gon was not involved in the war effort, instead completing missions of relief, but that didn't stop Dooku from sending people who worked for him in to disrupt Qui-Gon's missions. And the biggest shame of all, was how Dooku sent Ventress, Grievous and even himself after Obi-Wan and Anakin. The young Knight he did not know very well, he just knew the boy was his great-Grandpadawan through Obi-Wan. But the fact that he tried to have both Anakin and Obi-Wan killed was his greatest shame. It was the highest dishonour for a Jedi to raise a hand against their own lineage, and Dooku had done it to each member of his lineage.

He sat in the pilot's chair and just stared out at the stars listlessly. He recalled watching both Feemor and Obi-Wan grow up from young Padawans. He had watched Feemor grow into a great Knight who was respected throughout the Temple, a credit to Yoda's line. Obi-Wan was also a great credit to Yoda's line, but Dooku had not been there to see him grow from Senior Padawan, to Knight and even to Council Master. The highest honour a Knight or Master could receive and Dooku had not been there to see it. He recalled the young copper haired Padawan he first met, a young boy who was clearly nervous to meet him and hiding his nerves admirably. A boy who always heard whispers from other Padawans of how he wasn't good enough, how it took many conversations with Qui-Gon and Dooku for the boy to start to ignore the whispers. How Obi-Wan's gift with the Unifying Force left him tried and listless after receiving vision after vision. The number of times Dooku felt his heart stop when he was informed his youngest Grandpadawan was in the Halls of Healing. The worst instance being after fourteen-year-old Obi-Wan had been injured in a mudslide and being the only Padawan to survive. Dooku had honestly feared he was going to have to witness as his youngest Grandpadawan just faded before his eyes. But Obi-Wan had persevered and became a great Jedi Master, just as Dooku had always known he would.

His lips ticked up in a slight smile, recalling the battle droids clanking in fear every time Obi-Wan's name was mentioned. His Grandpadawan certainly made a name for himself during the war. And now, with his haze of anger gone. Dooku felt pride well up inside him for the Master that young Padawan had become.

Unable to face his lineage, Dooku decided the only thing he could do was leave. He would leave the Republic _and_ the Separatists. Leaving Grievous in charge the Republic would soon win.

* * *

Four weeks after his mind had cleared, Dooku was passing through a small spaceport in disguise as he bought some food rations. His attention drawn to a screen updating the citizens on the news. He watched as the news reporter announced the news that Jedi Knight and Master, Generals Skywalker and Vos had successfully killed General Grievous, with Dooku missing the remaining Separatist forces had surrendered. Dooku wanted to smile, feeling relief for the end of the war. But something was wrong. Why was Vos with Anakin and not Obi-Wan? For serious missions, such as going after Grievous, Anakin and Obi-Wan always partnered up. Before his thoughts could spiral anymore, the news reporter added an update on the health of Masters Windu and Kenobi. The two Masters had gone to arrest Palpatine, the hidden Sith Lord, and both were seriously injured. Master Kenobi had saved Master Windu's life and killed Palpatine, according to the Jedi Council, Master Kenobi was healing well.

Dooku's hands spasmed and he dropped the credits in his hands on the counter. He hastily pulled himself together and collected his food rations. As he hurried back to his ship, his heart was pounding. He had been saved from the Dark Side with Palpatine's death. His Grandpadawan _saved_ him, but his Grandpadawan had almost been killed.

Sidious had fed on his fear for Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan, successfully Turning him to the Dark Side with those fears. And then the Sith Lord almost _killed_ his Grandpadawan. Not so long ago, anger would have filled his veins and he would have gone on a murderous rampage. But that was in the past, now he felt no anger, just a bone deep wariness and horror.

Horror at what he had allowed to happen. On Geonosis if only he had instead turned back to the Jedi rather than try and convince Obi-Wan to join him. He knew at the time as he said those words Obi-Wan would never join him, it had been a selfish thing to try. And only pushed Obi-Wan further away from him. Now, much like after the mission to Naboo, Dooku was filled with the urge to see his Grandpadawan and check he was alright.

He realised he had no right to disappear, he _should_ face justice for his actions. So, he came to the decision that he needed to return to the Jedi Order and face what he had done, and hopefully, at the very least, catch a glimpse of his Grandpadawan. He didn't expect forgiveness, that was an ideal that would never come to pass. Dooku didn't _want_ forgiveness, he just wanted to reassure himself that his Grandpadawan lived and then he would spend the rest of his days atoning for what he had done.

But he knew he couldn't just stroll into the Jedi Temple. So, he came to the conclusion he needed to leave clues of his whereabouts for the Jedi Shadows, so they could track him. Once he was found he would hand himself in willingly. He smirked to himself, once he started to lay clues, he knew _exactly_ who was going to come looking for him. Quinlan Vos was an excellent Jedi Shadow, and one of Obi-Wan's best friends. The few times he had encountered Vos during the war, the Kiffar had gleefully described exactly what he wanted to do to the Count for all of the hurts he had put Obi-Wan through. Yes, Vos would find him, it was only a matter of how long it would take.


End file.
